Movie and TV jokes
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The producer of a low budget film is trying to convince the newly hired director of the quality of the work by telling him the big names they've gotten for the cast.
"First of all," he tells him, "We've got Gibson in the lead."
The director is surprised, "You got Mel Gibson?"
"Well, no," the Producer responds, "we got Marvin Gibson, he's a distant cousin who lives in Queens, but he's very up and coming. And besides, we've also got Redford."
"You got Robert Redford?" the director asks.
"No, we got Jeremy Redford, but he's very talented and has lots of acting experience from years of dinner theater. But," he says enthusiastically, " we've got Streisand and in a singing role."
"Barbara Streisand?" he asks.
"No, Elizabeth Streisand." The Producer responds. "But she's got a great voice. AND we've got Goulet."
"You got Robert Goulet?" the director asks.
"Yeah," the producer replies glumly, "we got Robert Goulet."
One agent stops by another agent's table to tell him the big news: "Elvis just died!"
The second agent says nothing, then starts nodding. "Good career move."
Denied membership in an exclusive country club because he was an actor, biblical epic star Victor Mature is reported to have said "Hell, I'm no actor, and I've got thirty movies to prove it!"
Why was the actor pleased to be on the gallows?
Because at last he was in the noose.
Fred: I'd love to be an actress.
Harry: Break a leg then! Amy: Whatever for?
Fred: Then you'd be in a cast for weeks.
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